She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
