his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
