I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think people are normalizing furries
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
