i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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