oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
