She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
smell my finger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
