What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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