Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I supernannyed him into submission
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize