i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
