I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
