i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
