So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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