EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
