And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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