So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
