I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
