Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize