the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
