I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize