just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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