I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
