I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
