I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
