i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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