Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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