absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
