I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
