but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize