If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
