Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
