they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
