I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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