I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
