Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
