i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
