Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
