I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
