If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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