i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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