i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize