Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
