Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
