We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
