If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
