I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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