when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
