My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The Olympian is in my bed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
