i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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