I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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