this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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