The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
