I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
