make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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