Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize