I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
