would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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