My brain says no but my pants say off.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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