do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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