her vagine was all disorganized.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
