you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
