I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
