ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
