This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
