bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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