i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
