I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
