Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize